The Simpson's House

 

Bart Simpson's house is real.

(source: 9gag.com)

Bill Gates in A Resto

(source: 9gag.com)

The Dirty Old Coin

The story is told of an unemployed young graduate who woke up one morning under a bridge and checked his pocket. All he had left was a few dollar bills adding up to less than ten bucks. He was frustrated as he could find no work and no one was there to help him. He said a prayer dedicating his last remaining money to the Lord and decided to use it to buy food, then wait on the Lord for an answer to his situation.

He bought food and as he sat down to eat, an old man and two children came along --- the older of the two was a boy probably 12 years old and the other a little girl who looked as beautiful as an angel. The old man asked him to help them with food as they had not eaten for almost a week.

The young graduate looked at the children --- they were so lean that he could see their bones coming through their skin and their eyes were receding. With the last bit of compassion he had he gave them all the food. The old man and children prayed that God would bless and prosper the young graduate and then gave him a dirty old coin. The young graduate said, "You need this coin more than I do --- just keep it." The old man insisted that the young graduate put it in his pocket --- and finally he did.

Amazing Light Sculptures

(source: 9gag.com)

The Blind Boy

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy.

That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

Love Quote

Pag tinetext mo pero di nagrereply:
- Tama na. Wag ka ng umasa.

Pag siya unang nagtext:
- Miss ka na niya.

Pag nagtetext lang kapag tinetext mo:
- Option ka lang niya.

Pag nakitext pa siya para lang maka-reply:
- Mahalaga ka sa kanya.

Pag nagtetext pa rin siya kahit di ka nagrereply:
- Mahal ka nun.

Eksena sa Klasrum 2

Sa Math Class...

Teacher: Banong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karne at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?
Banong: 2 po mam!
Teacher: At kung hinati ko pa pareho?
Banong: 4 na piraso po!
Teacher: Hinati ko ulit.
Banong: 8 piraso po.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa.
Banong: 16 po mam.
Teacher: Hinati ko pa?
Banong: 32 piraso na po!
Teacher: Kung hinati ko ulit?
Banong: 64 po! (nakangiti)
Teacher: At hinati ko pa? 2 beses ko pang hinati?
Banong: Ay susmaryosep mam! GINILING na po! GINILING!!

Slumbook

Juan writing on a slum book

Favorite Actor:
Arnold Scharzene... (erase)

Arnold Schwarze... (erase)

Arnold Schwarzz... (erase)

Arnold Shwazenne.... (erase)

Arnold Shwazenner... (erase)

Arnold Shwarzenneg... (erase)

Arnold Schchwarzenne... (erase)

Arnold Clavio

Eksena sa Kwarto

GIRL: Ang puti naman ni big bird mo?

BOY: Syempre, likas papaya yata ang gamit ko.

GIRL: AHhh gumagamit ka din ba ng downy?

BOY: Bakit? Sobrang bango ba?

GIRL: Hindi, sobrang lambot eh.

Eksena sa Klasrum

MATH CLASS:


GURO: jUaN, kUnG aKo'Y mAy 5 aNaK sA uNaNg aSaWa aT 7 nAmAn sA pAnGaLaWa aT 3 sA pAnGaTLo, mEr0n ac0hNg ? . . .

JUAN: KALANDIAN p0h . . .iSa kAnG kErEnGkEnG mA'aM, mALaNdi kA, hALiPaRoT, kALaDkAriN, mAkAti, mAhiLiG, pAriWaRa, p0kPoK, iMoRaL . . .

GURO: uMuPo kA, tAnG iNa mOh, di kA mAkAkApAsA g*g0!

-hala?

Karera

Sperm1: Pagod na ko! Mamamatay na yata ako, malayo pa ba tayo sa ovary?

Sperm2: Oo naman! malayo pa tayo, kakadaan pa lang natin sa tonsil eh.

(alam na!)

Propesyon

Iba't ibang propesyon, iba't ibang instructions pero pare-pareho lang ang interes.


DOKTOR: Hubarin mo na ang suot mo!

DENTISTA: Ibuka mo pa.

BETERENARYO: Kamusta na pepe niya?

CHEF: Hot or spicy?

PULIS: Di mo na kelangan ng proteksyon.

SWIMMING INSTRUCTOR: Laliman mo pa, dapat magaling ka sumisid.

GYM INSTRUCTOR: Sige pa, pump lang ng pump!


Anong propesyon ang gusto mo?!

Public Warning

NAKAKAKILABOT!
Mag ingat sa pag sakay ng jeep sa gabi.

MAG iNGAT PO, LALO NA SA GABI

Isang gabi sumakay ako ng jeep.Lahat ng pasahero nakatitig sa akin.
Walang umiimik.

Sinubukan kong magbayad pero hindi nila inaabot ang pera ko.
Kinilabutan ako..

Eksena sa Kalsada

Nakita ni Juan na nagkukumpulan ang tao dahil sa me namatay sa kalsada

Sa kagustuhang makita ni Juan ang namatay, gumawa sya ng eksena:
"tumabi kayo lahat! that's my brother!"

Humawi ang mga tao at nakita ni Juan....isang duguang Unggoy.